Come school..as usual arnd 1030..but it only my practical test..than.. finish withing 10 min than im done so...i have to wait 3 hrs...than my lunch..hah!! so lunch time..was rainning heavily...so heavy i could nt see the expressway.....it was totally cover by the rain ans it was flooded...!! nt that really bad flood...but it kinda...flood....so...lucky i had a umbrealla so yah..reach to the the bus..than as usual drop to Harbourfront..YAH I KNOW..IT BORED...IT HAVE TO BARED WITH IT FOR 1 WEEK..!!! so in the train this bunch of Matrep run into the train ..n guess..wad...!!??? i was lucky that my fren was with me..so there this..say this.."MATAIR EH MATAAIR EH" so i don like...at them or pretend nt to hear...they start to change sit..so yah wadeve..than my fren drop off at serangoon this part it interesting..!! They come towards me n ask me

MAT:..is he my bf..

i say " he my bestfrens"

he shouted " kawan dok" (so i stare towards him)...he let out his phone..but he did nt realise that his phone has a girl pic..

i say " is that ur gurl",

he says" alamak...kacau sia pic ni...alamak..ni bkn...I NYER phone ni my adek nyer phone..my phone rosak.."

i say" yelah tu.." finally i reach my destination than on my way up they say " BYE girl bye girl"

wad the fuck..

Today in school was my worst question day..bcos my teacher ask me about my health ...i mean it Cardiac Arrest...so my teacher was asking how was it..how im goin thru with it..i was like bump...my head feel like it been hit by a rock..!! lately i kinda of nt thinking about my health all i want was fun..to enjoy..an just than the question strike back...well it been 2 days i've been thinking about it since the interview happened...seriously i really don want to talk about it in front of my fren..but yah she ask than im force to say..i was embarrass bcos..both are my fren are outdoor people..than me...I HAVE TO STAY AT HOME...NT TO MUCH OF SUN...NT MUCH OF RUNNING...NT FUN OF...SPORTS..IM FORCING MYSELF TO STOP ALL THIS..SO I COULD BREATH AGAIN...!! im blum now...n i wish ...I WAS NORMAL...having fever is normal..but to have what i have n go thru all the shit i've been thru...it nt something you wan tot remember...the rest of ur life....n yes u have been saved by a group of doctor...but when people..look at you..they just feel pity n worries..about...! at some point i don understand...i don understand to understand their feeling Or Im being TOO EMOTIONALLLLL....

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE ASK ABOUT MY ILLNESS..IT NT FUN TO TALK IT JUST ME TEARY..UP..!! I DON WANT TO GO THRU ALL THAT AGAIN LOSING MY MUM...N THINKING MY U AND BRO...TO TELL THE STORY ..WAS EVEN HARDER...IM SO BUMP...I FEEL HOPELESS..WHEN SHE SAY..IM NT SURE..IF I WANT TO PUT U IN Tan Tock Seng....i feel so hopeless

School is another..say we slack toooo much...n don bother about our PRACTICAL test...whole class is playing CS than im here..blogging n find some intereting places in singapore at the same facebooking...im totally bored...i got nothing to.do .most of it..we do our things...nevermind..i just wait for lunch lunch lunch...im hungry soooo hungry....!!! All seem to be very busy with CS..hahah!!!

thursday: hahah!! EDYGUNAWAN POP day!! final day hahah than he can work...like anyother NS men...hahah so happy for u n i can't wait for him, he tols me that the ceremony will end arnd 10 than he will take the cab home..!! as wad i know he told me that in the morning he wil have a Passign Out Parade..than all that talk..heheh!! i know..it bored..me too been there before..than he mention about performance..dinner n dance...than...should end arnd 10..haha!! well im waitting for the time ...hahah!!!! never the less.

SOMEONE, SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME..I NEED A CAMERA...FOR MY CLEAN N GREEN WEEK...I NEED A DSLR...CAMERA.!!!

THANKS AZRI FOR UR CAM BUT..HAIZ...THE SATURATION IS HIGH THAN CAN NT ADJUST IT...!! ANYWAY THANKS.!! :)

PA 5 WAS!! EASY!!!

Friday...went out with syidah..we have no plan so wd ever...so we decided to catch a movie..so..yah...!! just ontime to watch it..at 3:30 pm..it was..hahha guess guess!! haha!! so syidah get emotional with the movie....but i have no idea...how sad is the movie...is...although it about family n stuff..but..hey that does nt mean i don have feeling it just..don give me a kick of sadness....to cry..! A GUY next to me was..crying..!! overall the movie is somehow...breath taking..lah...than..after movie go home..bcos..hmmp...it rainning and syidah cousin is coming n i quarrel with matrock..!!!fed up...sei!!! btw guess the movie???

Saturday: went out with matrock to settle things...than went for a triple date with my fren...but end up we decided to go on our separate ways...cos edy decided..to have a time with me...and the only time...with...!! he wanted to talk thing out..and talk n talk..!!

Sunday: nothing much...work at m sis...till 8pm..got home...iron my uniform..eat...surf..on the phone than sleep..THE WEATHER FEELS.SO COOLING I LOVE IT!!

Monday: hmmp.....another monday, another day in school doing nothing,,but the afternoon lesson..make me realise that my FYP in two weeks..time..and  my photography compettion..have nt started,,,lah...rabak..n parah..!!! my FRP REPORT...has started n my presentaion have nt...than..how...like that lah..!! class..is always..on CS n DOTA...that makes me...feel so LAZY TO COME SCHOOL EVENTHOUGH IS MY PRACTICAL TEST..!!the class..give me th emood to sleep..all day long...n rest my brain...haha!!! teacher..also..sian...keep asking doin lab...waste my money come to sch n do nothing..!!!

Tuesday: same thing happened whole class.was playing CS...than wad m i goin to do..well...i just. continue with my FYP report...hope it can finish by this monday..or else..im dead like sheema..!! than...thinking..about interview...how im goin to answer...so..panicking than it rain...how nice..all nice...and pretty get my hair done...than it rain..almak...confidence..lost sei...but the interview..was ok until when it come to my health issue...im always..having a issue with that...always feel. abit..hopeless..n breathless....feel sad...n kinda..hate myslef..abit..!! Y CAN'T I BE NORMAL..!! after that we settle thing..off...lah...than i quickly..go back home...cos im soo hungry...eat, bath than...my syg call...chat for awhile...than...continue...with my research in my report..hah!! stress..i need panadol panadoll...extrat extratextrea!!!

wednesday: practical..test 5...N I DON FEEL LIKE GOIN..ANYONE WANNA JOIN!!!

Story of my life, searching for the right But it keeps avoiding me Sorrow in my soul ?

cause it seems that wrong Really loves my company

He's more than a man and this is more than love

The reason that the sky is blue But clouds are rolling in because I'm gone again And to him I just can't be true

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful And it kills him inside To know that I am happy with some other guy I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why

Every time I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside

I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be a murderer

I feel it in the air as I'm doing my hair Preparing for another date A kiss up on my cheek, he's here reluctantly As if I'm gonna be out late

I say I won't be long just hanging with the girls A lie I didn't have to tell Because we both know where I'm about to go

And we know it very well ?Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful And it kills him inside

To know that I am happy with some other guy I can see him dying I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why

Every time I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt him anymore

I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be a murderer

Our love, his trust I might as well take a gun And put it to his head Get it over with I don't wanna do this Anymore,

anymore And I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why

And every time I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside

And I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be a murderer

A murderer,

no no no Yeah